


Recruitment

by TaFuilLiom



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: College AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:19:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaFuilLiom/pseuds/TaFuilLiom
Summary: No matter how hard she works at it, Alex can't make the colours fit right.





	Recruitment

**Author's Note:**

> Have some fluff, seeing as the next updates of December and swings and waterslides are gonna be packed with angst. This is the college au I swore I was never gonna write. Big up to @ironicpotential for the beta.

Three red, a few twists, and then five. But the yellows were all over the place. How did she manage that, when all the blue were now a single completed block?

Alex sighed and tucked the mini-Rubik’s cube into the pocket of her jacket. It occupied her when she got those anxious flutters in her stomach, a frequent occurrence recently. The corner dug into her palm as she made her way across the square, the building’s shadow blanketing her away from the morning sun.

The past few months had been a fall in slow motion, the ground sliding away, with her tumbling through the air. She hadn’t hit the ground yet, and sometimes she was filled with dread at the very prospect. Her rocky relationship with her mother had fractured further since an argument at Thanksgiving that had not been resolved by Christmas. 

Eliza had been trying to give some of Jeremiah’s things to Goodwill, clothes and the like. In her head, Alex knew her mother was finally facing her own grief, trying to rid the house of cobwebs and move on, and yet her heart clenched at the idea of those traces of her father disappearing one by one. She had stood in her kitchen, spitting poison at her mother, and then at Kara when she had tried to reason with her.

Alex ducked as a frisbee went flying over her head, and she got ready to lash out at whoever threw it, but reigned herself back just in time.  

Because if she was being honest with herself, it wasn’t just her slipping grades or her conflict with her mother that was keeping Alex up at night, making her go stir crazy. It was the  _ thoughts _ .

It started with a house party, with two girls making out in a hallway as she stumbled to the bathroom. Sneering at the display, she had wished they would keep it private next time.

Then it was watching a TV show with a scene in which a woman made love with another. It wasn’t salacious in comparison to other shows, but Alex had ranted to a flushing Kara, vehemently of the opinion that  _ that _ was just  _ too much _ for television.

But the worst, the worst was a week ago, in the library. It was 11pm, and she had been studying for midterms all evening. Stalking through the shelves, she spotted two girls at a table through a gap in the books. One was reading on her laptop and the other was asleep on her shoulder. Alex stood longer than she would like to admit, watching the awake girl gently combing her fingers through the other’s hair, nuzzling her forehead and kissing it every so often as she continued to read and make notes with her free hand.

It hadn’t been sexual, it had been intimate, and she could no longer hide behind the pretence that the knots in her stomach were a reaction to vulgarity. She’d been using alcohol as a crutch, drinking until the world blurred and things didn’t have to make sense anymore.

Backing against the revolving doors and entering the university, Alex realised that there could only be two reasons for how much time and energy she was expending on these thoughts. Either she was homophobic, or she was-

Immediately, Alex stopped in her tracks. Packed from wall to wall in the lobby like sardines, people mulled around as best as they could, the noise of the crowd almost deafening. She took in the sea of people with wide eyes and wandered forward, trailing her gaze up to the low banner hanging down from the ceiling:  _ Employability Day 2012. _

“Great,” she muttered. She looked at her watch, and then at crowd bustling in front of her. “Really?”

“Believe me, I wish we weren’t here, either.”

Alex’s attention flew to the stall she was hovering by. It was further from the crowd, like it had broken from the pack, choosing a quieter spot to set up. A uniformed cop sat reclined, booted feet crossed on a second chair. She was scrolling through her phone, seemingly unaware of the bewildered student.

Alex looked around for anyone else who could have said it, beginning to think she had imagined it.  

“Did you say something?”

“Maybe,” the woman answered, not looking up from her phone. “But maybe not.”

Alex adjusted the strap on her shoulder bag. The banner above her head had  _ NCPD  _ in faded blue lettering along with the badge on either side, underneath which was a table covered with neat piles of cards and brochures reading different slogans, encouraging the reader to join the ranks of the police force and serve National City.

“I’m playing with you,” the woman said.

“I got that,” Alex said, smiling as she picked up a leaflet that posed the question  _ Could you serve with National City’s finest? _ over a shallow focused close-up of a line of officers in uniform, saluting the flag.

“Interested?”

“No, just curious.” She put it back on its stack.

“Well, aren’t they always.” The harder, sarcastic edge to the woman’s voice made Alex look up, but the cop was still idly flicking through her phone. “It’s always a waste of time in a college like this, but overtime is overtime, right?”

“You think it’s a waste of time to try and recruit here?”

“I think it’s a waste of time to put the employability drive in the science building instead of somewhere like the humanities, just because this place has a bigger lobby.” She finally put down her phone and shifted, jutting up her hips as she adjusted her belt. Alex swallowed at the sight. (Because of the gun, of course). “I mean look around, most of these stalls are recruiting for careers that wouldn’t interest the budding scientists gagging for research grants.”

Alex stood there, stunned by the combination of the woman’s cynicism, and the unshakeable notion that she knew her somehow. But she had nothing to say, so she left for class.

~

Curiosity wiggled into Alex’s brain like a parasite, and an hour later found herself strolling back to the stall with two americanos. The sun had managed to make it up over the rise of the buildings, shining through the glass front of the lobby and blinding everyone inside. Navigating her way through the crowd, Alex commended herself for not sloshing any coffee over the lid of either cup.

The officer was leafing through a glossy magazine that outlined the university’s campus and departments. She looked up in surprise as Alex set one of the americanos down in front of her.

“I figured you were here for the long run,” Alex said.

The apathy from earlier melted as a smile bloomed on the officer’s face. She tipped back her hat and took her feet down from the second chair. “Thanks. Yeah, I’m here until 3.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah.” She took the lid off her cup, peering inside at the black liquid.

“I didn’t know how you take it so I left it black,” Alex explained. “What’s your name?”

The officer took a sip, and then replied, “Maggie Sawyer. Officer, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Alex held out her hand. “Alex Danvers. Student, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Maggie chuckled, taking the hand and shaking. It lingered, sending a bolt of electricity through Alex’s forearm.  

“I…” She bit her lower lip, running her thumb along the edge of the take-out cup’s lid. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“You’re sweet.” Maggie glanced up at her with a glint in her eye, but all the humour dropped when she saw Alex was drawing a blank. “Wait, you really don’t remember?”

Confusion flooded her mind. Apparently Maggie  _ knew _ her, but Alex couldn’t even place where she recognised her from. “No, have we met?”

“Two weeks ago, the  _ Red Rose _ bar?”

The _ Red Rose. _

Alex’s thumb popped the lid off, hot liquid sloshing onto her hand.

She had gone because it was dark, the crowd was older. No chance of running into someone she knew. She wanted to be free to play pool and drink away her frustrations. But that night, unbeknownst to her, was a bimonthly event that turned the place into a grungy excuse for an alternative club. She thought the sticky wooden slats made a terrible excuse for a dancefloor, but once she had knocked enough tequila into her body, it had worked just the same way.

She had been squashed up amongst the sweaty, bumbling shapes, until hands on her hips weren’t pawing; they were gentle, steady,  _ feminine _ .

The coffee burned a line from the knuckle of her thumb down to the inside of her wrist, but Alex didn’t move as the night she had repressed surged back to her. She had turned, danced, swaying closer and closer to this woman. Drinks, she remembered, a hand tugging her to the bathroom, she remembered, soft  _ soft _ lips on hers-

“Uh, Alex?” Maggie prompted.

Alcohol dissolving all the doubts and barriers inside, temptation hadn’t even been a real question as Alex pushed herself into the kisses. The music of the bar didn’t hide the sighs and whimpers as hands strayed, and it was only when she pulled back to take stock that the air around them ruptured. The vision of this girl with kiss-swollen lips, dark eyes, and Alex’s hands up her shirt made her freeze, stiffening in fear.

Right now, doused with the cold light of day, Alex had begun to realise that those temptations she got when she was drunk didn’t go away when she was sober. But she didn’t know how to do anything except push back in fear of these feelings, so she did just that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied.

Maggie’s eyes squinted, but then she shrugged and sipped her coffee. She wasn’t buying it, and Alex’s heart hammered harder.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s okay. I didn’t realise you were so wasted.”

“What?”

Maggie swirled the take out cup. “I mean, probably best we didn’t take it further. You’ve forgotten, right?”

Alex had fled, of course. Taking off out of the bathroom, shoving her way through the heaving crowd and hailing down the first cab she could get, Alex had closed her eyes and let the fog of alcohol descend again, hoping she was drunk enough to forever forget the incident.

_ Further. Further. Further to a bed? Right there in the bathroom? _

“Right. Black out. Sorry.”

“Do you wanna go get something to eat?” Maggie looked down at the watch on her wrist. “Lunch is at 12. We get to take a break.”

Eager to escape the sensation of being trapped, Alex made a show of looking at the clock behind her. “I can’t. I...I gotta go.”

Maggie gave her a lopsided smile. “Running again?”

“I have class.”

“Right.”

Irked at the disbelieving tone, Alex dug into her pocket and extracted the mini-Rubik’s cube, planting it on the desk.

“I thought you could use this to stave off the boredom if your phone dies,” she said, and left without further explanation.  

~

It wasn’t homophobia. It was jealousy. It was lust. It was  _ want _ .

Distracted during almost the entirety of her lecture, Alex had sat at the inside of a row, pressed to the wall, glad there was no one sitting directly behind or beside her so that she could search her phone without being embarrassed by someone peeking over her shoulder. The notes she had ended up taking weren’t to do with her module on biomechanics, but on sexuality.

And after about four articles titled  _ Am I Gay?  _ or similar, it clicked.  

The noon sun blared straight down into the square, reflecting off of the art installation in the lobby and blinding Alex as she descended the steps. Everything looked awash with a strange quality, like she was returning from a foreign trip and that which had been so familiar just wasn’t anymore.

She paced in front of Maggie’s stall, cycling through thoughts, feelings that she had recognised but had misunderstood. She was relieved when she finally saw the navy cap bobbing its way through the crowd towards her.

“Hey, Danvers…” Maggie said, wary. She held a wrapped sandwich tight to her chest, as if it could protect her.

“Maggie.”

The officer fiddled with the wrinkled paper wrapping. “Look, if I freaked you out about lunch-”

“You didn’t.” Maggie, unconvinced, raised an eyebrow. “Okay, you did. But it’s just-”

“You’re not gay?”

Alex inhaled sharply, waiting to see if it turned heads around them, but no one paid any attention. She waved at the chairs behind the stall. “Can we…”

Maggie’s brow furrowed, but she nodded. They shuffled around to the other side of the stall, Alex taking the other seat. She lowered her bag onto the floor slowly, the strap easing off her shoulder. She lifted a thumb to pick at a notch in the side of the table as she geared up to voice what she didn’t really have the right words for.

“Recently I’ve been struggling, I think.” She glanced at Maggie, who nodded for her to continue. “I mean, at first I thought I was homophobic. I found two girls hooking up at a party and it made me feel sick to my stomach.” She picked a little harder at the notch. “I guess I was curious. And then I just...that night in the  _ Red Rose _ , I just…”

Apprehension clogged up her throat, and Maggie gently supplied the rest. “Got even more curious?”

Alex drummed her knuckles on the side of the tabletop. “I’ve done drunken hook-ups before. And making out in bathrooms and everything.” She flattened her palm, spreading her fingers out as if she could find the right words between them. “But it was never like that. That was so much more, I...I actually wanted it.”

What  _ it _ was, she couldn’t say. Not really, couldn’t really imagine it vividly. It was just a foggy blur of touch, and kissing, and sheets. But sex had never felt good with men, and Maggie- or most women, for that matter- wasn’t exactly structured in the way that was familiar to Alex when it came to sex.

But the fact is, something was different. She didn’t feel revulsion when Maggie’s tongue had licked into her mouth. She hadn’t felt that crawling sensation over her whole body when Maggie had touched her. She hadn’t felt disgusted. She felt...something else.

“Wanted what?” Maggie asked softly.

“That’s the thing. I don’t  _ know _ .” She curled her hand back up into a fist and held it in her lap. “I got scared. I’ve never done  _ that _ before. Never kissed another girl. Definitely never had my hands up another girl’s shirt.”

She let out a breathy laugh, relaxing when she saw Maggie’s smile.

“So, you ran.”

Alex nodded. She ran her thumb over her own knuckles, ashamed. With the pressures of her mother, of measuring up to her perfect baby sister, of trying to honour the memory of her father, she hated letting anyone down.

“Have you thought about dating girls?” Maggie asked.

“I-I don’t really date a lot. I mean, I haven’t in a while. It’s been more hook-ups, I guess. I don’t-” She looked around, lowering her voice in shame. “I don’t even really like...screwing. I guess I just do it because…”

Maggie hummed, and Alex was struck by how patient this stranger was being with her. How kind.

“Maybe you should try it. Ask a cute girl out on a date. Or let a cute girl take you out. See if it’s any different for you.” Maggie picked up one of the cards, and then gestured it towards the tides of people passing. “It’s a brave new world out there. It doesn’t have to be so scary anymore.”

The prospect was terrifying, leaping into a new life, a new way of thinking. But it had to be different to the cesspool that she had been sinking into over the past few months.

Alex’s eyes eventually latched onto the clock hanging on the wall opposite.  _ 12:54. _ She leapt to her feet. “Shit, I gotta get to the labs. I…”

“Remember what I said.”

She reached for her bag, slipping the strap over her head. “Thank you. I’ve never talked about any of that before.”

Maggie grinned knowingly. “Feel better?”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed. The vice grip on her heart had loosened, letting it throb in relief for the first time in a while. That foreignness in the lobby was different now, it was good. Looking on the world with new eyes. She felt...happy.

“Danvers?” Alex turned around to see Maggie holding out a  _ Policing with Pride _ card. “In case you change your mind.”

She huffed out a laugh. She took it to humour the officer, slipping it into her jacket. “About joining the police force?”

“Sure. Oh, and one last thing.”

Maggie reached into the pocket of her pants and extracted the Rubik’s cube, setting it on the table. Alex picked it up, turning it over slowly. Every face was a perfect block of colour. It was complete.

Alex looked up in awe, and Maggie put her cap back on her head.

“See you around, Danvers.”

~

Whether she meant to or not, Alex was rushing to get finished. She worked with a vigour and drive that had been sorely lacking the past few months. Slinging her bag over her shoulder and bolting out the door, she took the stairs two at a time. But when she reached the top of the main flight down to the lobby, she didn’t see Maggie at the last stall. In fact, it had been packed up.

Alex made it to the empty space where she had shared such a revelation with a stranger. The clock on the wall read  _ 2:53. _

“She left early,” Alex muttered.

She made it out into the square, which was now growing shady again as the sun sank to the other side of the sky. She sat on a low stone wall, looking up into the blue, wondering what her father would think of her. A once promising student, now finding the most meaningful emotions in interactions with strangers.

She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets, fighting the urge to pull out the Rubik’s cube and wrench the perfection out of it, so that it could be a mess once again. But she caught her finger on the edge of hard card, and with a grimace, extracted it from her pocket.  _ Policing With Pride _ . She rubbed her thumb over the cartoon police woman, and then twirled the card in her-

It fluttered out of her fingers as she saw the black writing on the other side. Scrambling to pick it up, she read the simple message over and over- _ Danvers, if you ever change your mind and want to try dating a girl, give me a call on this number _ .

Alex had her phone out in an instant, tapping in the number, but she hovered over the call button. What exactly was she going to say?

She rose to her feet, circling around the square, worms in her stomach. Finally, after locking and unlocking her phone several times, she dialled the number. Pressing the phone tight to her ear, Alex listened to the tone connecting- and then a now familiar voice answered.

_ “This is Sawyer.” _

“Hey.” As Alex sagged against the university building in relief, the redbrick scraped her through her clothes. “It’s Alex.”

_ “Hey, Danvers.” _

“Hey.”

_ “...Did I forget something?” _

“No-No, I just-” Too late, Alex realised she had never asked anyone on a date, male or female. She had been asked out before, in a variety of ways, and yet right now she could not call upon a single situation or line to use herself.

_ “You okay there?” _

There it was, that patience, that tone that was weathered without being smug.

“I want to-” Alex swallowed, closing her eyes. “I want to try it. Going on a date with a cute girl.”

_ “Any cute girl in particular?” _ It was posed as a question, but Alex could hear the knowing lilt.

“Maggie...”

A soft chuckle, then,  _ “I’m free right now…” _

Alex stared over the edge of the cliff, seeing the ripples of the water below, imagining the chill of the water as she took the plunge, imagining how it would drag her under without guarantee of resurfacing.

Still, she jumped.

“Come back?”

~

She broke out of the dark square into the afternoon sunshine in time to see an NCPD cruiser pulling up on the curb. Alex took a deep breath, fixing her shoulder bag’s strap and taking off down the stone steps. She paused to check that it was indeed Maggie’s cruiser and opened the door to get into the passenger side.

“Do you usually get into cars with strangers?” Maggie said, amused as Alex threw her bag into the backseat. “Cause as a cop, I gotta say, it ain’t the best-”

Alex kissed her. Brimming with adrenaline, she leaned across the console, pressing her lips to Maggie’s. It was slightly jarring and off centre, but Maggie pressed back. The hard peak of Maggie’s patrol cap pressed into her forehead, and they both let out a muffled laugh as it slid right off her head into her lap.

Alex pulled away, saying, “Cafe Heronia. 5th and Verdana.” Then she sat back, her hands shaking as she pulled her seatbelt across her chest and clicked it into place. “They do nice pastries. Even at 3pm.”  

Throwing the hat into the backseat, Maggie started the cruiser. Her heart fluttered faster than a frightened rabbit’s might, the afternoon sun warmed her skin and she felt her mood lift. Clearly, she had been in a dark place for too long.

“So, Maggie Sawyer, officer.” Alex couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot even as she spoke. “Am I getting two americanos again? You strike me as a cappuccino type.”

“You’re buying?”

“I asked you, so yeah.” Alex uttered a soft, nervous chuckle. “That’s how this works, right?”

“Well Alex Danvers, student.” Maggie glanced over, flashing those dimples that had turned Alex’s entire day upside down. “I’d say surprise me, but you kinda already have.”

They shared a laugh, and as they slipped into the rhythm of conversation, Alex held the Rubik’s tight in her fist, the colours complete.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna give me any prompts or ideas for fics, find me on twitter here @santonaranja


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